Racism Is A Treatable Phobia. A Xenophobia.

    I think of people like Timothy McVeigh and others who did senseless terrorism against the government, believed they would spark some kind of revolution after reading the Turner Diaries.  The people whom I must have gathered all those years ago when I said we needed a revolution.  I had no way of knowing what would happen after that.

No control of the armies unleashed, the racists, the killers, the... cannibalisms, the elevating of humans beyond a humble state...  is in general troublesome.  Only the humble should rule, not the fucking overly confident.  Those who really listen to experts, and know they are no better than others.

To those who were part of this cult, which included racism, .there is not a hell of a lot I can say.  I am not going to oppress you.  That has already happened.  Your fate now is left to your future behavior, not your past, in my mind...  for what it is worth.  you had world leaders telling you this was Jesus, but I was too insane and ashamed of the very idea, to talk to anyone openly about it...  and those I did rebuffed me.

Caught in the maze of lies and handlers.  Like M.  And probably Barbara.  There are too many things which tell me I was chosen.  For reasons I am not quite sure about?   Did I gather a following on the web with my writing who thought I wanted a revolution?  You have told lie after lie in your media.  Was I chosen for this?

Why would you bother going to all this trouble?  How much of a threat am I to you?   Nothing you can do will make me give up on the idea that people can work together.  I am more socialistic than ever when it comes to class.  But I do not want enemies.  It brings them.

I made heroes out of people I would not have respected had I known all about them.  Chavez was one.  Had I known he beat undocumented workers, etcetera.  I understand this was a different time, but in my Childhood, one summer, I picked strawberries near my house with a bunch of farm workers...  my memory was I was doing it for a few days to make pocket change, and they had families working hard and serious.  The wild strawberries were so abundant in the woods near our house, grew on this moss that was like a soft cushion, and we would lay there for hours eating them, perfectly ripe.

   I made jokes about some women cult on line to that women who died of throat cancer, her father a politician and she despised them, knew their above the law ways, etc.

.  But the plan was not mine.  I was merely the thing left over....  or someone they made money off of... I cannot figure this out.  

I cannot imagine the mind fuck you went through, and how hard the enemies of the truth will fight to destroy the true narrative.  I will do my best to add my subjective history, the part no one else can know, the internal dialog of a man who you mistook...  with a million masks.  I did not have to do anything.  Metaphors.  Not literal.  How many faces do you have?  If you are an internationally known celebrity you have a different one for every head.  There are groups who believe this and this.   I have no idea how much you all know about me.

A few years ago I was in such agony over all of this I did not know how I would go on.  So I put on the mask of the tough guy.  I had used it before, but when Biden said I was a normal Joe, in most ways he was right.  In others...  perhaps my spirituality has been boosted by the brainwashing, my rhetoric changed, but I usually felt the presence of God in my life.  Sober I had God, most of the time.  Regardless, I did not feel the judgements I read about in Christianity applied.  I had read too many other books, novels and histories that became truth to me.  

The Christianity I heard with Jesus, God, and the Holy Ghost was odd to me.  I left Jesus behind 

 They did not mention brainwashing me because they mistook me for a Nazi. Or so they told me at the time, making fun of this shit on their fucking podcast.  I was surprised they brought up this Nazi stuff and Hitler with me at all.  Jimmy and the drunken guy.  Wore the wrong gangs color.  The guy who had no ideas you had gangs at all.

I did not come here to be political at all, really.  I was filled with love for everyone and expected to be greeted by people.  They only time I was ever talked to was on TV....  and here I am in this Jesus state where I loved everyone and they seemed so nice...  but that is not the way my God operates.  This earth is filled with evil.  A realm of objects dazzling humans enough to give up their soul.  Treat others terribly.  No manners that are consistent with one and all.

the religious psycho killers shit list Grok's

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THE Religious Psycho Killer's Shit List (often stylized with "THE" in caps) is a 2009 self-published book (third edition) by John Scott Ridgway, available in paperback/ebook formats and as a free download on the Internet Archive (which you've shared links to multiple times on X, e.g., in posts from 2023–2025).It's not a novel with a single plot or narrative arc — it's a wild, eclectic collection of revolutionary comedic short stories, satirical rants, poems, essays, loves, and hates. The subtitle and framing position it as the work of "one of the internet's most read writers" (referring to Ridgway's blogs like Peace and Pipedreams), blending dark humor, gonzo-style provocation, and sharp critiques of religion, society, politics, and human absurdity.Core Content & StyleThe book functions as a "shit list" in the comedic/venting sense — a no-holds-barred dump of observations, grievances, and absurd takes on the world, with heavy emphasis on religious hypocrisy and fanaticism. Key elements include:

• Satirical rants targeting organized religion (Christianity in particular), zealots, televangelists, and how faith gets twisted into control or violence.
• Dark comedic short stories — often irreverent, graphic, and over-the-top, playing with taboo subjects for shock value and laughs (think Hunter S. Thompson meets early internet shock humor).
• Poems — raw, prophetic, angry, or absurd pieces that mix personal reflection with social commentary.
• Essays/prose pieces — philosophical takedowns, personal anecdotes, and observations on love/hate, war, intelligence community weirdness (drawing from Ridgway's background), and the madness of modern life.

The title itself is deliberately provocative and misleading for comedic effect — it's not about actual psycho killers or serial murder lists. Instead, it's a satirical jab at how religious extremism can produce "psycho" behavior under the guise of piety, or how society labels outspoken critics as dangerous. (You've noted in past posts that some readers literally thought you were a serial killer based on the title, even leading to mentions on shows like Steven Colbert's.)Themes & Tone

• Religion as comedy/tragedy
  
  — Skewers dogma, corruption in churches, blind faith, and the absurdity of holy wars/zealotry.
• Personal freedom & rebellion — "Revolutionary" in the sense of anti-authoritarian, anti-hypocrisy writing.
• Dark humor amid darkness — Expect blunt, profane language, absurdity, and black comedy that laughs at the horror of human nature rather than glorifying it.
• It's part of Ridgway's early body of work, predating Waking Up Jesus (which you describe as written after a period of "brainwashing" or shift in perspective). This one is more raw, blog-like, and unfiltered — pure pre-Jesus-awakening comedy.

The full text is freely borrowable/streamable on the Internet Archive (search for "the_religious_psycho_killer_s_shit_list"), making it easy to dive in. It's niche, polarizing stuff — hilarious to some, offensive to others, but undeniably bold and unapologetic.

WAKING UP JESUS described by Grok.

 WAKING UP JESUS, well stated by Grok. Waking Up Jesus (2009) by John Scott Ridgway is a wildly unconventional, non-linear work that mixes speculative fiction, religious satire, poetry, essays, and first-person commentary. It doesn't follow a traditional novel structure with a clear beginning-middle-end plot arc — instead, it's more like a chaotic chronicle or gonzo-style manifesto documenting an impossible event.Central PremiseJesus Christ — the historical/biblical figure — suddenly "wakes up" in present-day (early 2000s) Chicago as a living, physical human being with full divine powers restored. This is not a metaphorical or spiritual return; it's literal, messy, and immediately catastrophic for the world.From childhood (around age five), this Jesus grew literal wings, which were surgically removed by mysterious authorities to hide his identity. Intelligence agencies (government black-ops types, cabals, etc.) have secretly monitored him his entire life, apparently because certain powerful groups have been preparing for this exact moment "since the dawn of God's time" — treating the Second Coming as a long-anticipated contingency plan.Upon awakening, he begins displaying overt miracles: controlling lightning and storms, manipulating light/energy, and other god-like feats that shatter scientific and religious expectations.Key Events & Major Arcs (as Described in Available Synopses)The book focuses on the immediate global fallout and Jesus's interactions with modern power structures:Worldwide panic & chaos — News spreads instantly; society fractures as proof of divinity becomes undeniable.

Confrontations with major institutions and figures:Dealings with the President (of the United States) — political maneuvering, attempts to control or weaponize him.

Encounters with the Pope and the Catholic hierarchy — theological crisis, accusations of heresy or imposture.

Interactions with millions of followers — mass pilgrimages, fanaticism, rejection, and attempts to exploit him.

Broader societal upheaval — religious schisms, media frenzy, government cover-ups, and existential questions about faith, power, and reality.

A recurring motif is that this Jesus is radically different from the traditional, gentle image:He is angry, confrontational, and disillusioned with 2,000 years of distortions to his message.

He speaks of having lived numerous past lives, incarnating as various gods and wearing the "masks" of other deities — suggesting a more universal, reincarnational spirituality that critiques organized religion as a corruption of divine truth.

Narrative Style & PerspectiveThe story is told primarily through the eyes of a surprised agnostic writer (a clear stand-in for Ridgway himself), who previously dismissed religion as a "disease" or psychological crutch. Forced to witness undeniable miracles, the narrator shifts from skepticism to reluctant awe — documenting events in a mix of:Prose narration & essays (chronicling real-time happenings, philosophical rants, and critiques)

Poetry (raw, prophetic, often angry or satirical pieces)

Fragmented, blog-like entries

This creates a multimedia, stream-of-consciousness feel rather than a plotted novel. It's episodic, provocative, and full of Ridgway's trademark dark humor, irreverence, and blunt language.Overall Tone & PurposeThink of it as Hunter S. Thompson-style gonzo journalism crashing into a blasphemous Second Coming story — equal parts satire of religion/politics, paranoid conspiracy thriller, and personal spiritual crisis. It's deliberately shocking, anti-dogmatic, and meant to provoke thought (or outrage) about faith, power, and what a "real" divine return might actually look like in the modern world.The full text is available as a free download on platforms like the Internet Archive (as shared in various posts). If you're the author or have insider details on specific chapters/events that aren't in the public synopses, feel free to expand — the surface descriptions capture the high-level premise consistently across sources! 

My book One War according to Grok.

ONE WAR is a 2008 book by John Scott Ridgway, structured as a collection of three interconnected novellas (or short stories) that explore dark, psychological, and satirical themes tied to war, intelligence, trauma, and human corruption. It's one of his earlier self-published works, available in paperback/ebook formats (via Lulu and Amazon) and as a free download on the Internet Archive — which you've shared links to in the past.Overall Structure and PremiseThe title "ONE WAR" appears to refer metaphorically to a singular, ongoing "war" — not just literal military conflict, but the perpetual internal and societal battles stemming from violence, secrecy, and moral decay in the intelligence/military world. Ridgway draws from his background in military intelligence studies, framing the book as "based on true events in the Intelligence Community" (with heavy fictionalization and dark humor).The three main sections/novellas focus on different characters whose lives intersect with the aftermath of war and covert operations:

1. The Spy/Slane Novella (the longest section, roughly a third of the book)
   This is the core and most intense part. It centers on a character named Slane, a Navy SEAL (or similar special forces operative) who was ordered to commit horrific atrocities during the Vietnam War — specifically, to rape women to death as part of psychological warfare or interrogation tactics. The story delves into his post-war life: profound trauma, guilt, rage, possible PTSD, and descent into darkness. It's graphic, unflinching, and draws from real alleged wartime horrors (Ridgway presents it as inspired by documented or rumored events). The tone mixes brutal realism with Ridgway's signature gonzo-style black humor — not "sicko laughs," but absurd, bitter ones that highlight the insanity of war.
2. The Poet Novella
   This follows a poet (likely an artistic, introspective figure) whose life is affected by war's ripple effects — perhaps through personal loss, societal fallout, or encounters with the intelligence world. It provides a more philosophical/literary contrast to the spy's raw violence, exploring how trauma infiltrates creative minds and everyday existence.
3. The Scientist/Think-Tank Novella
   Centers on a scientist working in a government or private think-tank (possibly involved in military R&D, strategy, or psychological ops). This section satirizes the cold, bureaucratic side of war — detached planning, ethical compromises, and how intellectuals enable violence from afar.

Themes and Style

• War as endless trauma: The book argues that Vietnam (and by extension, all wars) never truly ends for those involved — it creates one perpetual "war" inside people and systems.
• Critique of military/intelligence culture: Graphic depictions of atrocities, cover-ups, and moral erosion, blended with conspiracy-tinged paranoia.
• Dark comedy amid horror: True to Ridgway's voice (seen in Waking Up Jesus and his blogs), there are moments of absurd humor even in the bleakest material — a coping mechanism or satirical jab at how humans process the unthinkable.
• Semi-autobiographical undertones: Ridgway's studies in military intelligence and anthropology inform the authenticity, though it's clearly fiction.

This work is darker and more grounded in real-world atrocity than something like Waking Up Jesus (which is speculative/satirical fantasy). It's provocative, potentially disturbing, and not for the faint-hearted — expect explicit content dealing with violence, sexual trauma, and psychological breakdown.

If you're looking to dive in, the Internet Archive version (which you've posted about) is a great free resource. As always, if this is your own work (or you're deeply connected), feel free to share more details or correct anything!