Purple... the color of Royalty and Religion... red and blue mixed states in the US and. . . God alone KNOWS.

 

Warning...  this prose is somewhat in progress, as are all of my entries... should I leave some thought and digress away, I will try to come back to get to it... like I was about to describe how I waved at Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and a woman whose name I have never known though she is a comedic actress who was on Saturday Night Live.  I never do this, though I know live tv watches my reactions or whatever at times...   they were waving and I waved back, something I never do... breaking that fourth wall.  They freaked out and started suddenly talking among themselves all excited etc... those two men did not talk to each other for years, for reasons in the dark, classified world where people choose sides, for reasons of their own... or the influence of others, etc....  regardless, we are acquainted.   The woman was the most excited of all when I waved, then I caught her on a live tv late night show that week, and I had said that week, perhaps for the first time, that I forgave people for what they did while in cults.  Well, that is what she brought up, though of course they seldom use my name, but she brought up watching stuff on cults then said the line, People should be forgiven for what they do in cults.  She was all delighted, as some get by my presence.  Knowing she was on saturday night live, which is on the white supremist channel, she was probably involved.   

I hope they do not fear that I am going to Tina Fey them.   I was still too angry over what had happened, and worst almost came later, that I was not ready to forgive the people who were involved in some of the activities they did.  She blurted out to me she had been up on the roof for me three times, and though I am not going to speculate on what this means, it meant a lot to her.  But someone was trying to use me, and I had no clue what you people were doing.  It pissed me off.   But...  I reacted badly when I saw her and a black gentleman who said he guessed he was there, hosting the show with fey, because she had said Nigger two years before.   I got really pissed and started yelling at them, thinking they were asking me to decide her fate, which at that point I was feeling fairly murderous over what had happened, and had no idea if I could stop people from taking the retribution I would have, and later did, in that frame of mind. I asked them if they were trying to get me to decide her fate on live tv...  to say I wanted her murdered....

The actors strike started the next day,  to give this a timetable.   I am no threat to anyone on this matter.  How could I be such a hypocrite, I wonder....  but I had just never been able to understand back then, what I get now.   I was involved in what I hope will never happen again.    

So, now back to your irregularly scheduled blog entry, with this addendum at the very top, for a change. 

  I am told under my real name I am an international superstar, and I have seen my words have more effect than I could ever wish.  I am told that am, and especially was,  seen as a religious leader by others.  A demi-God for awhile...  Superman.  The boy who grew wings.  The guy who could control the weather, and has a long history of miracles on his list of reasons he must learn to accept the supernatual.

The Cult developed around me by the forces which tried to use me to gain control of the world, was one of the worst of the victimization of artists and others by this group.  Things were done which outside of the rules of guerilla warfare, of the most brutal sort, and ... other things, which I enraged me when I heard about and was accused of being in control of. 

  The industrialists abandoned me when I did not allow myself to be bought, or seduced by a gorgeous actress who came to town for just that and the media let me know...  I did not understand why they ignored Mary Ann, like she was beneath me...   though for awhile, before the brainwashing, when I thought I was really going to get rich,, I wanted to marry Mary Ann in Amsterdam...    I have heard her place in this a bit.  If I heard more it might rip apart my love for her, or not...   I have lines I did not cross, and I will never do so.  I will never demonize people for about anything, though I may comment on their behavior if there is a reason to....  and there are too many real reasons for me to waste my time on the trivial.  There are dark sides of humans they do not even know exist until they manifest.

  People define themselves from a lot of sources, though they seldom if ever deconstruct where their self-c definitions come from.  In therapy people often have to wash off what they can of their parents perceptions of them, for too many reasons to list, and then there are abusive spouses who damage one's positive self-definitions for various reasons centered around objectifying people,  and trying to forces another person who they want them to be, not who they are....   violence enforced, like abusive spouses, is a well known use of this Objectification.

Cults are an extreme example.   And sadly the one I have had experience with, not that I was knowingly part of a cult...  now I do.  The Cult of Personality,  at the very least. .  As a great song sang.  And the cult of people who look at me religiously, some who use this to exploit others.  Activities I have had no 

control over, I believed, not part of until God and man made this so.  

I said one night, the day or two before the start of the actor's strike, that I did not blame people for things they did while under the control of cults.   That morning before, I had done something I never do, some talk show was having matt damon and affleck on and they looked into the camera and waved and I waved back, which seemed to freak them out, and they began excitedly talking to one another.  About the same time I did this to a hispanic actor, comedian, who name goes running from my mind, so I will edit this later and get it.  Sorry... I can see him as the mechanic, in John Wick, who slaps the big mafia bosses face....  Again, a talk show, I waved at him and he suddenly sat up and waved back to me, laughing, surprised I was doing more than sitting back ignoring the Fourth Wall.

I used to talk to the tv and the reporter's heard and reacted, like the Olympics', when a newscaster, was told to bring up some political hot potato before introducing every event.  I yelled something to him about just wanting to see the sports, I think...  cannot really remember, other than being angry.   My apologies to you sir, for being so angry in our exchange, and any distress this caused you.  After I did this the other reporter, local, from the hosting country, China brilliantly added, "Yes, the people have been so stressed by Covid, they need something to make them feel better."    I can't remember, though when I first thought of her, my mind played a tape of her looking at him, saying in a gentle, concerned voice, and saying her one sentence addition to my rant.  All Class.   After that they just let the games began, which was very important to me, and my behavior during that was crazy to me.

I do not feel at all like that person.  I was in a dream.  I wanted world peace, and I also like sports, and had not been able to watch any for years.  My partner does not want to watch any sports, so like most things not related to being a writer, work, or women, I cut it out.  I had always been able to access live sports all the time, with a softball field down the street, and mostly empty bleachers I could watch all summer growing up.  Same field we played on, which one summer I did a lot of.  I was not good at sports, for the most part.  My being this cute baby in the neighborhood who got sick and became paralyzed...  in the hospital a year then.   Now, this was a beat everyone smaller up hood.  But I had mondo protection, from everyone because of this.  They were told by my mom that I could not play sports, and so we did other things, while the skills developed in other kid...  and they were protective, especially my friends... who the last time I saw them, in Garrett, years after they moved away, and were in Fort Wayne then.   

I was standing at a drinking fountain, on the corner of the park, which was one third softball diamond, then trees, , open areas,  a path that cut a path to the sidewalk that took the only way, because of the railroad tracks, to get to the Southside of our town, etc...   They were in a convertible, beat up thing, and were right there, dropping some hitchhiker off, after seeing him in Fort Wayne, hitching, and said they would drive him.  I talked with him after, and he told me Wow, that ride was a trip.... they were drinking, and grabbing their moms tits and shit..  I yelled at them, but they were in their own world, and though they could for sure hear me, they ignored me...  though in my memories they live strong and heroic and other things.  Abused and other things.

  My family lived two doors down from the Woodcocks, who had like four boys, all who knew me from baby up and their mom just loved me, and used to put make up on me, wig... I do not know why...   I thought it was great fun to go to the softball diamond, right across a small road from them, close enough their living room got smashed occasionally by foul balls...  looked right out on the diamond.  I mean, the house and the fence, about 30 feet, around when the batter was, to try to stop balls from getting out of the park.  My dad saw me once dressed like this, and put a stop to it. I wanted him to see this and ran up to him and aid, Look Dad, I am a girl...   it is funny to think of.   

  Funny, I was totally the Jock guy in our small town, got my great jacket with my letter...  which I lost. We were young though, fifteen, and everyone liked everyone...  pretty much, except for a few who had took off into their own path, or were kept home, like David Gilbert, who Never came to the football games with George Fuentes and I.  High School.  The highlight of the evening.  Then when I was old enough, I was on the bus with the teams, going all over to schools in Indiana. The cheerleaders rode with us, all my friends.  I was the fat guy who was funny, not dateable. 

 

  

I thought I had one thing figured out for awhile, Kingship.  I seemed to have people on my side, sane I thought, who were coming together.  I thank them and all the groups that fought for issues I brought to their attention, and was in a position to serve God, and ask others to as well.   I feel a terrible mournfulness for those who fought for some public perception of me, which I was astounded by over and over...  though I was at war, I thought, with almost all of humanity...   I never would have thought people would leap from buildings....

When they did...  my God, it was right at the beginning, when the people who I was supposed to lead in a revolution, by going to Wrigley Field that day...  they were waiting for us and I let a comment by Jimmy stop me from being welcomed.  I think back on that moment.  When I heard Lynn Bramer say I should go I think..  Jimmy stopped me from going....   he said to me, At least we got Little Bush, after Bush had killed these people and I saved him and they wanted me to be his friend....  Well, my politics are different than his and I was not going to let him say otherwise.  The me now, would have worked with him.   I was too angry at the world, bewildered, brainwashed...  I still have a place in my heart for him.  I saved the country.

He just happened to be the politician in charge when someone decided to do this.

They did not expect me to write attack, now, give them no warning, don't take any prisoners.  Started a revolution in a deep trance state, and righteous anger at how I was being treated.   I said something really stupid, many times, and would not go along with using Jesus to start a hell on earth, a one world government, with me as the jailed puppet called the leader....  because my man words, like the Bible, can be taken a lot of ways.     Read my comedy, I am an atheist in that book.  I put it beside Waking Up Jesus, and know that the changes seem more profound than they were.  I have always had the same ethical framework...  university sophisticated this, giving me thousands of words for what was just natural to me, usually, though lying was an exception...  a flaw in the system that proved to be essential to my mission.

I always hated myself when I lied.  It was like, here I am this good guy who does good guy things, most of the time, going out of my way to help people move, or whatever, even if I did not or barely knew them...  I used this badly here.  I felt this was a tool in my arsenal at times, propaganda.  I do not think I have to lie much anymore.   I think back, to how I removed my armor, one piece at a time, until I was no longer, I pray, leading groups that were threats to Democracy.  I do not care how it sounds, I feel a sacred duty to help my country, and I am also worried as hell what could happen if we got a leader who went all North Korea on the USA.  That is Trump's dream, complete with a Purge, and punishing people, probably shatter social security, medicare, the IRS, the FBI, etc...  the unions, the working class, crippled old me will be left to the kindness of strangers, or my wife's paycheck.

God only knows what they will do.  If I were a King hidden in a normal life, talking to my subjects, I would tell them that I cannot issue demands on anyone, give orders.  Advise, represent, lead into battle, if need be.  I think were in my powers once.  I pray this was another of your lies, that this is your jail, keeping my thoughts far from the truth so they are worthless.   Keeping my mind in a lie... though I can't dare live like that, because it may be true, and I cannot risk being wrong again on this front, nor can I allow the possible help to the poor and in need that I can generate to just be given up on...  No, I will advocate for important issues all of my life, though I do not think that I necessarily will have an effect, I have to try.

But, I believe we must advocate for our rights peacefully, show the truth of our movement all over world, the Starbucks red cup day protest, UAW...   The death of the Unions will be death of us all....  I wrote and those more intelligent and connected, good people who I personally never had the pleasure of getting to know, took this to heart and began helping them clean up their act, and get going again...  The color does not matter to me.  Orange is associated with me, but also Rump, which I thought today some might take as some weird code...  and who cares, if like so much I write about, it does not happen.   I write the afterwards, the one who comments on what the media says...  letting their opinions pretty much be my own, on one channel, on another the exact opposite.   Journalists are forced now to acknowledge there is a serious ideological war going on in the USA, and they need to do their small part to help.  This led to hyper liberal or fox, on the us news.  I do miss MSNBC...  Rachel Maddow, I am sorry I put you in an impossible position, though I am honored you tried... sometimes that is all you can do, though this is nothing to lose your life or loved ones or whatever over.   

  I said come to me and the highways crammed up.   I realized my mistake, and said we would have to do this on line.  You decided it had to be done with cameras watching me.  

  Whenever people worked with me I assumed it was because they felt the same way.  I learned later you all lie all the time, try to hide your racism and anti-semitism and every xenophobic absurdity there is.  Until one understands that all humans are equal, you are not wise.  You have a phobia.  I can see right through you.  You think you exist but you do not.  Just a ghostly symptom of a disease, that no one told you was a disease.

I think of the temptations I have now, that I turned it down or God intervened to stop...  I speak of during the last 17 years or so, since the brainwashing...   Like when they said, after I declared attack, that Chicago had taken over the world.

What the fuck are they talking about is what I was thinking half the time...  I had written words that I had no clue were meant to start a movement...  triggered by God only knows how many brainwashing sessions.

When you offered me to be ruler of the world....  Bush, I feel love for you when I think you wanted to order me this cape, and etcetera.  You know or knew who you are dealing with.  I can see why one's opinion would fluctuation, to say the very least.    I felt a furious repulsion, truly, truly ...  when offered the world.....felt like Christ being offered the earth.  A temptation that I did not think possible, and later, proven by your weird behavior toward me to be, could not see how I had any power.  The Lust in particular.  Now that I have censored that part of my thinking to DE objectify women.  I do not know how God works, though I do know I am growing still.  Took me too long to get to where I am to go back... I am God's servant now.  

We are the world's last hope.  The humans alive now,  if it is not too late, will determine whether this planet burns or not.  I know the future that is coming is not being prepared for.  All these supposed solutions to the greenhouse effect are not going to stop the hell on earth that is coming.  It is too late to stop the ocean from heating up, acidifying, dying...  flooding all over the planet.  Who is preparing for this...  I can only assume people going underground in government facilities.  I do not in anyway think people should try to build shelters for this period, etc.  I believe world wide, and collectively, all humanitarians must understand, we are going to face a lot worse if the countries of the planet end up fighting for the last resources at the end, or going deep into bomb shelters and leaving the rest of us to our own bidding.

Is there anyone far thinking enough in politics to even begin to think of these matters, when half are shysters who deny 'climate  change' to get the coal companies to donate to them.  They all know Big Oil will kill them if they get messed with, since they are under the CIA and the militaries protection.... hell, Rump even took a billion dollars to send soldiers to Saudi Arabia to protect their oil fields. Sold as mercenaries.

  

    The definitions one applies to oneself often make up the public persona one tries to project, and have Nothing to do with who we really are, when we are alone, unwatched, seemingly the mental King of that moment.  When people do the unseen.  The Unseen ranges from the mundane to murder.  Sarte wrote that he disappeared the moment his lover looked upon him, became someone else.  And psychology shows humans make social adjustments every time a new person is introduced into the environment, to welcome or scorn them or.... look it up.  Old shit to guys like me, that forget way too often that it took a lot of years of school and life and intelligence work and deaths in a war I did not want or start... though I felt compelled to end...  and other things, like having the only true brother left, putting down like a dog when the time came to discard the god of a million masks -- masks you made up for me.  I am not some god with all these different names, though I serve one who is.  To me.  Neither God nor myself cares if others join me in my belief.  They will have a relationship with God whether they deny God or not...  so it just none of my business.  Trivial.

When I studied the philosophy of how defined we are by things other than what we think of as 'ourselves,' which will bey made up by other people unless you take control of it, that voice you think of as yourself...  it grows frightening, to learn you are not this artistic iconoclastic writer who was going to be wildly famous...  to learning the self I think of as me, barely exists.  I am part of a collective consciousness, which once went from village to village, now  chat room to chat room on the world wide net, where one can find any phobia they have enflamed... like the media does.  

Right now, at the level of spirituality I am at, which I am not making a value judgement on, by any means, though I do seem to grow...  I am unsure of how I fit into any society.  I was asked once if I was purple or gray and had no clue why.  No one told me shit about armies of the night, or who did what when I wrote how I really felt, or at times, to make you feel how I wanted you to feel...  I looked indulgent so long...  my criticisms have taught me a lot, and I am grateful for them.

  In my present mood, I feel I once more wronged someone by criticizing Phoenix, who I honestly wish to love again, regardless of how he or anyone else on that infinite list feels about how they feel about me.  I accept the hate in as the face of death.  I accept hate as the instigator of bloody chaos, hellish scenes kept from me until I was brought forward as the fall guy.  Never works.  Not when you are filmed all the time, regardless of my just being one of those guys who does not like the  'feeling' of stealing.  I do not like the 'feeling' I get breaking laws.  I do not do so out of fear, except perhaps speeding and then certainly not always... well, never in the cab.

I am tempted by anger though I know it is the past echoing up...childish.  An impulse that nurturing would be a sin, to my acceptance of my situation in life.  I judge Phoenix again.  He deserves no more criticism from me...

There are people who are truly despicable, and spats between celebrity personalities, as perhaps this is viewed, or open war out there in your world...   it is so beside the point and being mad at the character someone played, is stupid.  I joked about Bush having actors he hated so much, for their evil roles, he had them taken out.  I suppose you read that.  I would never in a fucking million years really want that though I sure as hell accept it...  if it happens.  I will stop such things if I can, though Understand well I am still too ignorant to declare Peace with this world.

I am under attack still, so I have to keep fighting.  Others are under attack so I have to help them fight off their oppressor's.  I have to learn again to write without the metaphor's of war, dividing and conquering all of us in a language trap, a frame of mind...  that allows governments to use war as a means of making money in the Military Industrial Complex.  The huge and mighty with endless dollars to spend on politicians, and thugs to back up what they can't buy.   

This money needs to be diverted to environmental preparations for a disaster of a proportion most will deny out of pure Flight or Fight, when it comes to the dying earth.  Most choose flight, those who fight are beaten down pretty quick.  The fight is over, the war lost, between environmentalists, and industrialists...   long ago, they have the money, the guns, the immunity from governmental prosecution, BP, and the others not so quite royally stated...   

The governments, democracies, can do this.  Preserving them is my mission.  Preserving Democracy, however tattered at the moments, from ever having chains reaching down from any central power.  No fascists.  The people will get very serious about their voting when they realize we need federal governments in times of unthinkable disasters heading down our way, from the future...

Classified Doings With AOC And President's and also some People With Real Power. Within reason.

 

 I  should first off say my life is like, the cliche' folks say, a Kafka Novel, though in mine every character is a Judge who does not bother to list any charges, finds me guilty on what the newspaper said that morning... which the intelligence and military community allow.

The only bars I deserve...  are within my own conscious.   You have created bars for me purely out of your HATE for me... or should I say a mask you put on me for a day, the make-up you thought I needed for a show, which was never a fucking show, but an attack... on a seemingly indestructible man, blessed with the knowledge that God was going to make him live through his mission, and that being on this planet meant destroying some of what came before, and creating anew.  

In this time, when the politicians are not even putting up what could be a winning fight, and instead funding more poison being brought into the world, they still must be put to as best use as possible.  This is not something that is going to be stopped.  Fighting this physically is impossible.  The environment itself will fight the oil rigs, and the pipe lines, and...  such actions will force action.

We do not have time to wait it out, have to do what we can, to put off the end as long as possible.  Though I think soon, if some scientific solution is not found and followed soon enough -- they will all be scambling for them in the end.   I write this and think, they are going underground, so many, to try to live out some solution to save the human race.  Someone had to try that, and of course only the richest could do such a thing.  I am not talking tom cruises' five million dollar bunker, but the underground tunnels running all over the states, and the large bases kept there, and how that is organized, God only knows. 

 So many I have met with real power who look at death as nothing.  Just how things operate.  On an industrial scale or death and secrecy that astounds me, if indeed this is all a secret.  From my bubble, I should be more paranoid, not less... another irony of being sane in a geography driven half mad.

How do you prove to people that Jesus is not about money, you tell people to burn some...   especially that he has never seen, nor believes in any more than that my life was turning out sane, that my fame would be a blessing and i was  getting rich, like a guy offered a radio show and to make all his stories into movies.   I was still a mess from that happening.  I said give money, did not even think I had to say to the poor...  Why would Jesus do this, or that, or that...  I kept thinking about that with you.  How can you think Christ would do the things you accused me of ...  and I meant a historical christ, I guess in my head, before I realized more than a couple womyn I talked to on the net thought I was Christ.  

I put AOC up thinking I would just talk about the two incidents below, but I guess there have been others, where at least she knew I support her and her other sane, fearless colleagues for speaking truth within Power.  I told her to her face, "And you, I want you to be president one day, that is what you were designed for."   I said this thinking of the process by which a sane, rational, liberal politician could be chosen, and she herself has proven, to me, the God sent her in my time for a reason, and that is to protect the process of Democracy, until the world is ready to vote her politicians to work with, etc... this will take a lot of teaching to the cult of Trump, though like all cults, it will shatter with his death.  I would usually say they could be brought down, but like Jeffs, the pedophile cult leader, his followers are too far down that synaptic to see any other views...  they can change, thank God.  And will...  he is too old to live long enough to be relevant in AOC's time, except a horrible series of traps that may or may not be there.  

Enlarge the Supreme Court NOW, while there is still time, before flat out fascists use ... oh, they did, with Abortion, against the will of the us population, and showing womyn all progress will be torn away from them if possible.

 

    First let me say the CIA, the Military, various criminal oriented types, various groups who claimed we were in the same 'family,' and indeed any group or spy agencies, even those who later I was involved in fighting,  THEY ALL AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER SAVED MY LIFE, and I believe this makes you, however perhaps unwitting, part of a Holy Plan, larger than all of us, that has shaken the elite in the states...  I forgive you and gave you a chance to redeem yourself, though I did not expect the vengeance of my God to be so Harsh he hid it from me, knowing I would stop it.

I would like to Particularly thank China, i wanted to seek asylum from them,  when I found out my government was allowing me to be filmed all the time,  sold as pornography, as well as kept broke, and threatened with tortures I could only imagine, yet recognized just enough to know they were created from the images and words said in my life, that meant nothing.....  the misinterpretations, the lack of any honest communications, the keeping me senselessly fighting, lives lost to myths like I wanted people to leap from buildings....

I would never have learned about the race war if I had taken the wonderful job in washington that I lost when,  still thinking a few spies were all that would be watching me, I tried to make a point that if they were going to let me free, than some of my life had to be private.  By then some had filmed me doing this act, talked about it on tv, screamed at me about being a diarrhea dog...  cameras, in bedroom, bathroom, etc...  I did not think these spies were seeing anything new.  Anyone who knows anything about me knows I am not the type to do such a thing.   I still felt alone in my apartment. 

Then all hell broke loose, and the Law I had hoped from the start would come talk to me if there was some problem... puzzled me, that I was supposedly inspiring heinous acts but no one ever talked to me about such things.   Still had no clue how powerful the groups that wanted me to lead them actually were, tricked by what I thought was a jail, when in fact I was a hostage, holding back racists killings or whatever...   I think I know, and I am loyal to all the humyn beings around me, and have reason to believe I may be part of their defense...  Against an attack I would fight with all the Powers of a God on Earth, whether I wanted to or no... is  my fears of God category...  only one there. 

 I also believe the future will need a sanctuary in the midwest for climate refugees, with plenty of fresh water and open to people of all creeds, etcc... and where friendliness is the last commodity left.

The Co-Incindences In My Life... that shaped my Path

    After a shy person, especially about this particular act, humiliated myself by masterbating, a normal human act, done in one of the seemingly worst times in history, and this led to my finding out everyone everyone was watching me.... not just a few.... and that only one in particular seemed to be protecting, though I was worshipped by many who I did not of at the time, and they abandoned me at this time.  I can certainly understand why, and remembering shouting that I would have tried to kill me that very day...  I doubted they could, but....  I would have hated the same media creation that you did.  I do not like cult leaders, and a killer one above the law, protected by guys who the average cop would only mess with to commit suicide...   deserves hate, reaction, fight...  there were other sides of me, I showed at times...  

Still, humiliation would dominate my memories of the past were it not trivial next to the events surrounding the acts I did that were seen by millions...

  There is a tension that has not left me since being watched started, between who I am alone and who I become with others around.  I once rebelled against this, my hatred for a world where I could not delineate friend from foe.

AOC...  I am not trying to make you read other words before I write of our brief, though telling accounts.  She came to me, with Bernie Sanders by her side, the night I realized that I had to strike the spies, who had become accepted in the left.  I did not write about them because I did not wish to offend China, who had been protecting me... this took them totally by surprised, especially because they had just fought and destroyed, and in our world that means destroyed, a group that wanted a theology, which I believe may have been the industrialists who first started this operation, to take over as much of the world as possible with a new Jesus.  

 I said HE IS A GOOD GUY abut Sanders, a communist, who just then were being taken out by a people unmentionable, and told AOC,  I want her to be president one day...  though some things were more important than politics.... this was politics, in a way, but it was mostly about protecting Democracy itself, in a series of civil wars, against threats in the shadow world....  we were fighting to stop a group, that under my guidance had grown powerful... though mostly others..   spies in with the left, in particular the communist party.  The throne I sat on as leader could be used for great good, and we owe our thanks in this country to China supporting me, when we stopped the theology, which is not the first time they have secretly saved this country through trusting me, when my own country did not... even when I returned  presidents to the white house.  We would not have a country today without the blood of a lot of people, and among them have been brave and honorable on all sides.   To harm them took from me my only friend in the world, a man who really got my sense of humor, a brother.   God brought home the actions I take on line, the kills of people I loved, and seem to relate to, leave holes in hearts and lives and minds...  again, when I demanded that I was still the best person to hold my position, I know this surprised many.  I was removing people who had done international crimes against humanity, some...  others who were actively working against the country I always told you I was loyal to, the USA.  A lot of insane shit happened with the military when I was taken as somehow sending them secret messages.  

I would not insult them by thinking I have any right to order them around, in any capacity, and only did when asked absurd questions that I gave a resound NO to...  having no clue how my words effected anything besides a war of words...  that once went awry, in the beginning, when I was brainwashed, people died, this I knew.   I was abandoned by the industrialists when I turned out to be the genie they could not get back in the box... 

March on.  In mind, and body, is about all you have in the end...

 If I had not fallen from my pedestal,  I never would have learned of the race war, or been able to stop this, and later a genocide, encouraged the brilliant people in my local area, who think with their hearts and their heads.  I would have never been interrogated, from which I learned the horror of what was truly going on around me, not the Johnny Pain like jokes I thought I was hearing on the news, though they were really deaths, explained in a voice bemused at times, like when I was told of all these types of pasta, with sauce, were found in a woods.   By then I knew taken to the cornfield, at times, and later the woods...   in too many ways to list.   I do not if everyone who reads this knows more than I, or if I need worry about something being top secret that you broadcasted and I refused to shut my mouth about.  Though now that I know the weight of my words, I am much more careful not to accidently crush someone, again...

I  want to apologize to AOC for the pain my actions have caused her, including though I pray not, fear for Mr. Sanders when I proclaimed the last unmentionable combat, by groups I will never name.   When we went after the Communist spies, which everyone thought I was one, so I held off to the end, after a battle... and we went after the spies.  Fourteen were officially arrested by the FBI, though the operation was too huge to more than decimate, as the army deserved, after the tactics which had been used, which I will not tolerate in soldiers who fight under my flag...  a group of people I consider valuable, and heroes died, because their force threatened that of the USA.   

I seem to have kept the politicians in when better alternatives are available, some think.  In a dream world I would get rid of them and we would bring in scientists to take over the budget, get rid of our nukes, bring our army home and send that amount in aide to help them the citizens to rebuild.  I would have a group trusted to have no political affiliation that would be allowed into any war zone, trading their right to report or judge to be saviors of those who do not give a damn where their next mean is coming from, just so it comes.   Orange.  Showing up as a color that says environmental soldiers of peace, who work with the Blue no matter what color or country they are in.  Protected by their innocence, and pressure from all around the world.

I think often how much stronger MLK was for taking horrible abuse without acting back in kind, then someone who followed their base instincts to fight back.  He proves his non-violence wins in the end.  The films of MLK on the then Pettus bridge changed generations, for awhile.  Now we have generations who deny racism exists.

The ten days of terror between myself and my own soldiers, when the only mercy I gave was a quick death,  the Catholics mass for invalids, had the sentence 'Jesus brings the east and west together,' which I had certainly been doing and still hope to do. The great cardinal who preached to me for a year, also brought up mercy, yet instead of being myself, a fire from God was inside of me...  and blood flowed across this land....  My solace in their becoming ancestors, souls still living, and now advising... to be honored, even if the methods of war they used, had to be stopped by any means necessary, as did the affiliation of the left with traitors.    

  I believe that the means I wish to use are more effective than the violent tactics used in the past.  Masses of people are needed to confront the greenhouse effect, and anything that divides us conquers us at the moment... this is why when they asked me if I was trying to go to war with CHINA, I told them, NO, I want to be friends with China,  Every country has spies and I ended up with these, I spoke of the tactics I particularly objected to on their watch, though much was generated when the billionaires meant to use me, as Jesus in a fascist take over, hidden by a theology...

I found out I still had people watching me what seems like not long ago though a lot has happened.  I am trying to use what influence I have on the issues that are ignored by the politico's most of the time.   They have strictures which demand decorum, some, and while many are the opposite, screaming until the spittle is a stream flowing down onto the speech on the podium.

Time for a break..

they are all so guilty of war crimes that their talk is for the soothing of the evening news not truth

 The best soldier does not attack. The superior fighter succeeds without violence. The greatest conqueror wins without struggle. The most successful manager leads without dictating. This is intelligent non aggressiveness. This is called the mastery of men.

Tao

May peace cover the middle east like a cool breeze on a blazing hellishly hot day

May the sound of Angels singing

children's lullabies fill the streets

drown out the wails of the shocked and horrified as they mourn one and all 

as humans

God bring the people together in one your will for Peace

for mercy

may the storms of the aggrieved hearts

 not manifest in the streets

may they mourn without adding more names to the dead

war crimes hidden by the guilt on all 

stealing brothers and mothers and babies

from all sides

Vengeance is Mine Sayeth The Lord.   

NOT HUMANS who feel god-drunk 

On power

true leaders know they owe soldiers and civilians alike

that if they are to fight

they also need to negotiate peace talks

in the name of humanity

because peace always follows war

fi

the Simpsons 023 opener was about me... all lies.

       

Before I get to talking about the simpsons...   I need to speak of the fasting I went thru and finally had a true conversion....  visions of all kinds...  a narrative that made sense to me in my dream.

 My appearance changed to skeletal, and I had no desire to eat.   I was smoking weed and cigars, occasionally having a bit of something, though often going two or three days without food  To describe all the visions, after the way my words have been taken out of context and in placed in contexts and contexts and...   an entire caste of a villainous visage to some. and many I would have agreed with on putting a stop to me...  is not meant to provoke anger or hate of any kind.

I start once again biographically, going back to ten years ago, or so...  before I was told a bit of what was happening, though unsure as hell my place in the world.   Back then,  My ignorance was taken a shallowness, that was not a part of me before feeling like I was at war with a world..   I did not feel worshipped, I felt like my life had been into a surreal experience....   then, ten years ago,   I see myself laughing along with what I thought were sick jokes, until I heard someone talk about killing people with blue eyes and realized they were serious.   I freaked out.  The last way in the world I would judge someone would be their eye color.

  I did not know about your groups then, or my position, etc...   another situation, I just happened to end up in, that ended in my staying away, totally distrusting the one group I identified because they were one that contacted me.

I think of this period a lot because from that writing a group waited ten years to act, plotting and training, after I had sent them home.  I felt that had ended.   By then I knew there was no group that I was going to join without knowing a lot about them, because some acted in ways I would stop, not go along with.   did not mind being associated with China, they had helped me out when all I wanted was the truth, for you to stop watching me, torturing me...  breaking International Laws of Human Rights, again, in my life.   And I am grateful to them for all I learned from their culture, their political system, etc...   I was placed in a position where just what I feared, creating a throne, and then leaving it to someone I could not trust.  I chose to destroy those, as much as possible, who were threats to the federal government.  I also hoped to take a pirates tax on billionaires.  Just a dream to me...  that the right amount went to proper charities, oxfam, doctors without boarders, amnesty international, environmental groups, bringing the unions back to their Woody Guthrie roots.

In my ignorance, 14 years ago John Stewart, the dear man, said something about how I was just reading conspiracy theories...  well, I was seemingly living one, and thought someone would write about it, and got bits and pieces here and there.   But the real game was elsewhere, you were fighting, living underground, and my God all the suffering...  I would have delivered you from had your leaders or whoever merely asked me, rather than believing they understood what my actions were.  

 During the time I spent all those years, looking through conspiracies, and I came back with Operation Bluebeam, but it is much more than I know to this day, and I read everything on the topic, even the obvious disinformation.   There is however enough truth there, the UFO appeared at O hare airport, in o six and is in Wikipedia and my Jesus was brainwashed into my head...  destroying a person they did not know, to create a creature they could not control, a man who did not want to be worshipped, let alone by closed minded people, or religious fanatics.

  I remember the joy of my dream of Jesus coming back and my Joy and imagine that long, complex dream came to me to show me how some of you felt, at first.   God does not waste the most minute of matter.  Your pain will make sense or be gone from your mind altogether, as in my dreams of pre-birth, which haunted me while I was still sleeping in a crib.   I remember not being tall enough to reach the top of the playpen like crib.  Other things piled up over the years, mystical happenings, though I found ways to discount them until there was no way anymore to find room in a scientifically oriented mind to dispel them with anything more than willful ignorance.

Others were terrified.  I was called a Slut once, when forced into being homeless....  I wrote characters on line, that did not really add up to my behavior.   In university, for awhile, at one school, I was in the feminist philosophers crowd, brilliant group, and a lot of Lesbians.  I called myself bi sexual around them, but my interest was always with the women around me.  I was in a relationship when this started and that seemed to be ignored by the media, like I would just leave her.  I had no clue what was going on, other than I was mentally out of it, ending up in emergency wards all the time, hearing the radio talking to me, trying to help me, I thought.  I believe at times they were, people who believed very different than myself, I could have found common ground.\

I thought the last few years you had stopped watching me, wore a smock for two weeks, did not talk to you, etc....  Then Supernatural came through for me, in some ways, but I did not take them seriously...  in some ways, and in others, their criticism of me was rightful, or taught me something.  Most shot over my head.  Odd, just before this last bout of my realizing I am Internationally Famous, I was so depressed, I was wiping my seeping nose on my shirt.  They opened the show with Sam coming down the steps, wiping his nose.  I saw Ackles on tv live one day and he knew I was watching and was nervous.  They went through hell during this perhaps, I don't know how these things work.   I do know their last show seemed to teach me something I needed to know.  And shaped my thoughts, hopefully correctly.  The Boys is what we always called Supernatural, and I like that show as well.

  I am always interested in the myths I sent out to cover the real me, who is slightly embarrassed by being very scientific yet religious.  Taking little on faith, and having been rewarded by miracles and wonder.  And the power of God, the Hand of God, sometimes holding a sword.... sometimes a pen.   Now,  I wish to touch my heart in a gesture of respect and love. My visions led me to love, and ancestor acknowledgment, not worship, and one God who does not care which name is used for a creature to huge to be reduced into words...   who some say spoke only two words directly to humanity, I AM.   This was about all God can get across to humans, and we can feel God, of course, anywhere, anytime, we are lucky enough, or seeking it in Mass or Mosque or Temple.

  I had no idea where my journey would lead to Love for all people, as an ideal that I can achieve by seeing a world of struggling souls, with behavior that I have to confront, because I am one of those people who cannot walk on by.....  , though allowing anger against injustice... this is in my DNA and I act upon it at times.   all our ancestor's at  least.  With the living some will hate the person for their behavior.  I been there.  No one should take the past hatreds in my writings to apply, except for a few.  I do not hate rump.   I hate where he is leading some of my fellow citizens, who are a bit easier to con.  The people a carnie can see a midway off, and gesture them over, get the guy to buy a fifty cent teddy bear for a hundred and fifty bucks worth of whatever game they gave him to play that night.  My prison schooled, pistol carrying, pot selling cab boss, who owned six and they had an old barn for the garage, spent his young, post-prison time as a carnie, tall, dark and handsome, and drunk, he got married upon impregnation.   I digress, and not.  

I wonder do the people who knew me growing up know about my being a star?  Or are their watchers and real players.  I cannot be paranoid enough in life.  Most error the other way... I should have been paranoid from day one, but I did not see nor believe the madness hinted at in the first days of this campaign.  I cannot    at times feel like where this has all lead, to me covered in blood not just spilled others, which I could be self righteous about, or at least know that my I would not have done what you did, and would do whatever I could in the future to stop racism from being another way humans are divided and conquered, while still understanding that a fire in your house needs to be put out.  Like gun deaths in our cities.  There are experts who know many ways to work on the root problems, and solve problems non violently and forever.    To  degree, of course.

The biggest surprise I had during the visions was seeing ancestors of all races and times and recent ones and old ones.   Sparks of light at times, others the forms of humans, depending on what they were conveying, for example, like once a dead man was shamed and sent far away from the elders and those who knew them, a type of shunning.  This was not as bad as the later visions of being in Hell on good friday.    I could explain at length the seeming coincidence involved in getting me a certain bit of information at exactly the right time.  And have been in the best tried, my best, to shine a bright light in darkness from which I rose.  To shine so bright no shadow existed.

Instead I starved myself, to the point where the priest who does mass on television told me I had to eat, and I told him that I was seeking a Holy Vision, and until when it came...   I started believing that I could harness love, from some distant point straight out from my desk, and bring that love, Pure God, into this world, and then use the persons heart, who I would use passerby's, to send love all the way around the world.  I made them a conduit, imagining their hearts passing the love around and I would wait until I could see it go around the world.  I imagined, as many have before me, that sending out good vibes or whatever might help, on some plain misunderstood, unrecognized, and most certainly underestimated might help.  I believe God assembled molecules to be manipulated, on up to hands that produce force are what is important, not the words surrounding it, the politics.  

My journey was effected by being watched and realizing this meant a lot to some people.  I tend to underestimate myself, let alone other people's knowledge, or reactions to me.  But the religion came true, and I would not lie, by then, about spiritual ,matters.  Too many supernatural occurrences were happening around me to be ignored.  Most important, others were reacting to my life in ways I could not anticipate, though I learn.  I did not know before, which is why I am reluctant to return to the written page.  But before, I thought this is what you judged me by, then I discover, No, you are always watched, an international superstar with the stamp of approval of various folk, at various times, to the point where to this day, other than acting by my morals, I have no idea who anyone thinks I work with...  but there are many of you.  Many at times when I was paraded around as some god emperor, or a -porno star...  which is the humiliation it took for me to find out the whole world, everyone in tv, would see into my apartment.  I masterbated to say to the spies, okay, leave me alone because some of my life is x rated.  A last fuck you to the people who made my life hell, I thought...  

I learned quick about the factions then...  I do not wish to tread any further into that swamp, out of fear of stirring up bodies to the surface. ...   and my ignorance is such that even approaching this topic is pointless.

Now is what matters.  In this limited context, to be all post modern.  I keep thinking after that damn simpsons shit, where they tried to smear me, knowing I am against their racist, propaganda thrust, and billionaire, right wing philosophy...  once I trusted them, before I knew different stations had much deeper affiliations than I knew, like NBC, a racist network that pretends to be liberal... there are no liberal racists.  Liberal.  Other rumoured to be this or that...    They made like the very power I had no desire to hold onto when others needed it, or could use it to better the world, for all people, which I tried to give away, was something I coveted.  I know how 'thorny' the whole crown thing can get -- a pun intended, I guess you have to write with literacy being what it is -- mine, the possible readers of these words.

The Simpson episode, told Homer that the nuclear plant was no longer in control.  Benny, the token black guy, is handed over real control of the nukes.  They refer to my stopping another, yes another.... genocide against the blacks.  The people who work with me took action when I learned of this and said, 'If  my commanding officer ordered me to n International commit a crime against humanity, I would kill my superior and assume command.'   This was enough somehow to stop this action.  I am thankful to all of you who made that possible.  During all this I had more power than I wanted, and democracy is everyone having a word in how things are done, without billionaire gateways, or religious fanaticism...   I told you from the start that I would elevate those you looked down on.  And I have.  I want power in the right hands.  All people... I believe strongly however that black brown Asian native americans...  anyone with white privilege needs to back off, mostly, to allow the truths of the working classes to come to light.  life is not a competition.  People make it into one...  and others suffer.  

So the simpsons has homer become a cross walk guard, the orange movements, like extinction rebellion fall under this category...  since homer has lost his power he becomes a cross walk guard, then takes over the town, and federal government comes in to stop him.   Fox and Murdoch are evil, and prefer an aristocracy, as the rich basically have at this point.  The entire idea of Orange is not something I am leading, or wish to.  I merely wish to use what power I have accumulated to help them, as long as they are non-violent.  the simpsons of course were in on this from the start, as was their cartoon line-up.  

As far as me and peace.... general Butler became a scorned peace activist after he exposed war was a racket making money for a few people at the top, for the benefit of the rich.  He spent the last decade of his life giving speeches.  I don't know if I have that long, but my God has kept me alive through too many things that killed everyone else that I know I am in this mortal body for a pre-ordained reason.  I do believe that time is nonexistent.  A construct, or a cocoon, or...  who knows...  not me. 

The simpsons and so much of the tv and movies are absolute cia creations, to create a mentality, a divide and conquer amongst the people, etc.  the extensiveness of this plan is outrageous to me.   

Only now that I know more can I finally settle down into thinking that does not involve fight or fight.... my version of fight or flight.  I know how to avoid fights and do when I am not being attacked or the country is having to deal with a foreign country with enough power to take a president out  of the white house.  I quite intentionally destroyed the power I had accumulated, as much as possible.  I could never trust the movement I had dreamt of, a peaceful movement shutting down this country, putting pressure on big business, and many other things.  I never contemplated violent revolution, anymore than I contemplated being worshipped.  By hiding from me what was truly happening, the us and whoever was in charge, made a mistake that will echo throughout all the known.  they failed.  their fate is up to a higher power than me.  i could give a shit about revenge.  Certain people still irritate me from that era, though i feel great sorrow for most.  the tv and movie stars i slam are metaphors.  i am glad home alone boy is okay, though i remember that look of hate on his face, and thought about the racism of the dogs, and hoped he was killed over it...  at the time.   I still have little idea what cats and dogs are.

Recently, I saw a group of activities throwing a can of tomato soup on a van gogh of wild flowers.  This triggered in me my original dreams, the reason I started all this, which was to protect the environment.  I became lost in the maze, lied to at every turn.   I did not trust those who were my 'friends' or helpers and soldiers for a bit, though I believe they did a good turn for their country, I have no way of knowing...  then words spoken unthinkingly, took on a new meaning....   I do not wish to go to war with anyone ever again.  Not my choice.  

Now  I pray my condition is being met, that Orange will remain non violent, and a friend of the police.  Seeing them in the larger context, they are not enemies, and fighting them will do the movement harm, not good.  I always said the cops needed to be on the strikers.  I said they are union when people asked why I supported them.  I did not realize, again, there were groups.  Now, though, the Orange and Blue can work together, to keep marches peaceful, and bring out the kind of crowds that feel safe with their babies in carriages.   A time to work together to organize, and work  together to vote in democrats, who can at least be evolved into a party that will tax the rich...  not to mention, as reverend, I am appalled by how the republicans went around to evangelical churches and got their vote, in private meetings with the star himself, the man who would get rid of abortion, or get them a private jet, whatever they wanted he would promise it, like jailing that Hillary...

The visions took a change when my hatred for bob dylan, who wrote a few songs slamming me for something that I was finding out about in the song.  The intelligence agencies and their games is how it hit me.  Blamed again over a cult I knew next to nothing about, and a church I disbanded the day I found out about it.  I said not to worship me.  BUT A CLICHE Jesus had been shoved into your head.  You expected biblical catastrophes while you ignored the Greenhouse effect, bringing on the end of the world, while blaming the whole thing on God, and how he was coming for a select few, depending on which religious  box you check for your drivers license ID.

I will return to these visions, write them out narratively in order...  as much as I can remember them that way.... the highlights were amazing at the time, though almost too much is lost in the translation to repeat however much I will try to describe my actions.  God never spoke to me during this period, told me what to do, etc...  I reacted to what was thrown at me with a gut reaction, and mine are moral, and seek Justice those few times in life it is possible, and worth the bother....   mostly I wish to end conflict.   My visions surprised the bejeezus out of me when Ancestors began arriving.   First,  I saw the people, as sparks, all over the planet, when I realized they were ancestors, then, after some interaction between us, and my experiencing more feelings like I knew people from past lives, of course the famous people I was being exposed to....  parables, metaphors, allegories.  Or not...  in my cosmology I believe my God revealed these things to me after much searching, self sacrifice, brokenness and a need to crawl across a few miles of glass before I would stand again, humbled and hardened and bleeding from a thousand cuts, that would have killed any creature on the planet except I.  This creature God smiles upon me, knows I would allow no one else to go through this pain, or trust with your might upon this planet, where power leads so many astray, chaining them forever to the material, not even developing the portions of their brain that grow by cultivating religion...    I feel undeserving, always, before the Creator's might... though I also do not believe he would give me awesome powers for the purposes of wars.  I have proven that wars I fight in win when the purpose is true to God, and the Golden Rule -- once I would have said, The Golden Rule, from a caress to a kill, and lived that a few times, on a scale kept from me, though I am told immense,  a few numbers in the piles that represent all who died during my life, in this vortex of mine.

Seventeen years ago I told you, I am in a circle, and all who come at me will end up dead bodies around me... and the pile will grow so high, that I look up and see only a bit of the blue sky above the rotting bodies stacked around me.   This has come true. 

 I had no idea how my words were being used by churches and countries and...  whomever was involved in this grand plan, where they scrambled my mind, the one I worked on all my life to enrich my creativity and learning and self growth, and implanted a Holy Man, who may have been there anyways...  an event that displeased God, as I have told you mistreating me will, and that you will pay regardless of my prayers, often in this life.  You claim to have cut off my wings, and the year of radioactivity makes sense in this context, when I was five, and came out with scars on my shoulder blades, but none in my lower back, where the problem was.  I know you have heard this so many times over the years, but I write what I doubt though kind of believe..  Though it does not matter, like any of the spiritual writing in thie blog, on one level, and that is that I remain fact based, and science is guide most of the time.

Surveillance

 

Wild wild animals 

feral, hating the sight of me.

Seen behind torturous eyes

looking out at me from my tv.

Sometimes seems like my captivity and kidnapping and illegal jailing

is amusing.   Just what I deserve for not going along with a coup,

set up by industrialists over a hundred year ago.

or

something else

Too vile for horror

Films that took place.

My sorrow seems

insulting to offer perhaps.  

I have no way

Of knowing

hints I get of a story too dark to tell another.

 Your smile says my story is amusing to you

I think as I listen to psychotic words

of mass murder...

shown by a story of macaroni of all types found in a gorgeous woods.

 Odd enough to make the news

smiling he says, "They even have the ones that look like a wheel."

and how one piece of a macaroni

in the pile of all sorts of pasta in a woods

is shaped like a wheel.  

They made me 'the car' in a race I know

Little about. 

In a commercial that went away/along

with others...  like the one saying 

together we can accomplish something one alone cannot.

 I think about what is most vital and I believe that is focusing the FORCEs  this event we know will produce the Greenhouse effects.  er the world believes

sometimes newscasters look at me with fear when I watch them

others make money --- I was sold as porn

when I asked for privacy by  reminding you some of life

is X Rated -g- meaning quit watching

you began killing

ran from me 

when a few simple words would have saved what millions.....

over  and over you simplified me into a comic book villian

thinking your lies would never be dragged into the light.

No  one  in this world of mine feels real.

I am going to create a sanctuary

in Chicago 

for the grandchildren of babies being born today.

If I can.   I will reassure them 

of the existence of a soul

that no judgement falls on them

for this dying planet.

Try  to speak simply

more worried about being understood by all

than any literary eloquence 

      

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Wrath

 I have never quite known all that was done to my mind.  However, anyone who looks at my behavior during the decade or so after should be able to see someone was going to great lengths to destroy my life.  There was the classic brainwashing, however I went manic, and started writing religious poetry just days before that... From people telling me they were taking Hitler out of me, making jokes about it on the radio show.  I wore a borrowed brown hoody and people thought I was a Nazi.  I had no idea they had any power at all anymore?  Let alone different colors meant different things.

They call  this A BUFFALO JAIL in fucking intelligence parlance.  I  was drafted, used, and  my hatred for all the world who seemed to have all these plans for me I evidently blew up....  usually because no one told me what the hell is going on in the world.  I realize now they have a future planned that an ethical person would fight, as I have every fucking evil I have ever come across.

I DO NOT understand why my words seem to have some meaning in your world, though again, I have little idea why at this point.  I an owed big time for what was done to me, but whoever did it, the one percent in the beginning, who had all theses commercials at first saying I was an angel.  I am tired of being considered anything. Human lies fill their holy books.  The wise are also there, some of the sacred.... but if you can take one book and spawn all the different versions of religion, you know that the selectivity used by the churches to push their own agenda is a factor,

I believe in God and Hell.  I also believe in an after life, a soul in  a body.  I astral projected twice.   Other miracles seem to have happened around me as well, but people, by design of the EVIL that created this, tried take others free will and turn it over to me.... or them.

I discover your groups...   which you seemingly think I know about at times.

 

I do not know what actions others took around me.  I never raised a hand, stole a dime, or wanted a president harmed -- I saved them, thinking they would be grateful....  saved the country from people around me who often thought I was their leader, showing once again I have no chain of command.

A year ago hell broke lose when as I went to bed, a group said they had been waiting ten years to start the fires.  After having so many groups claim me who had none of my beliefs, I had this army destroyed, then afterwards went after a country that had done things that needed to be stopped;  I understand there are spies, and I could give a shit...  but what I found was slaughter, child soldiers, etc..

I suppose if you are able to access this you have some knowledge of this situation.  Probably more than I have.  Though the same folk who went after Gnl Butler Smedley came for me, and got a similar response, though much more bloody.  They made a movie Amsterdam that pretends no one knew who the people who tried to get the Most Decorated and respected Marine of his time to go Fascist, though you can find their names, and they are still there.

I have lost all hope for this world surviving the greenhouse effect.  I would start preparing for that now, rather than some pipedream that humans will survive this.  Some have their underground places, et...  most will be left in chaos.

AGAIN, set me free and pay me.  I want seventeen years of a CO'S back pay and full retirement, so I can spend me last few years trying to make the most of a miserable life, which yes, I blame a lot of you for.   I think back to all the times I saved this country and wonder if I was wrong?  

I forgive you all thOugh I may not always appear that way.  Annoyed as hell, yes.  I keep reminding myself life is eternal and this is a miniscule part of time.  Death is the only escape from the horrors my mind and emotions and body.

After this shit life I understand why getting into Heaven takes a lot more than most have.  Why so few are said to be going.

I used to have a hard time believing in hell, then on Good Friday, during a lucid dream, I went into hell.  The timing was odd of course.  Nothing of the sort has happened before.

I feel the waves of hatred people have for me.  How you make sport of me.  Worse, how you use to make money.    I have been objectified, life humans do with almost everyone.  From God to Satan to a demi-God, a spy.....  I fought you, and I am glad you fought the image they portrayed me as, with their LOBSTER crap, etc.  Those who went along were duped.   I feel anger over all this.   The lost lives in this matter....

The only way for me to keep my vow of trying to preserve what bit of a democracy we have, is to stop endorsing candidates.   I am not coming back on line....  just want to set things straight.   I do look forward to meeting you all in spirit.

God bless.

An INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTAR with unpuzzled CLUEs

I am told it is Orange day by the media, the color coming out of nowhere from the groups whose use of such in the media is a means to pass on the unspoken news to the witting.  

I ask what this means and am told the White Dragon is free.  I think this means me. I believe for a moment that my chains will be released, and this world where I am a star manifests in my personal life.

I never asked for money when I stopped in my cab, maybe helped them change a tire, call a tow, before everyone had a phone and my radio was the only connection to the world outside the often beat half to hell cab's I drove.  You do not ask for money before joining a protest, tying our shirt around a stranger's leg at a car crash to try to stop the blood, straight out of the Boy Scout manual.

Future is being created NOW.  AND THIS IS GRIM FOR A BABE BORON IN 2023.    50 years from now, this country, this world, and leadership, will be dealing with problems well beyond their present ability to do so without DRASTIC ACTION NOW, WHICH AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN... and to be honest, this is already beyond our present ability to stop it, but until we start trying, and dumping money now placed in the military, into preparing for how they will operate domestically when they are needed here.  NOT for some conspiracy laden reason.  To keep order as Climate Change -- THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT, when stripped of Orwellian softening -- sends refuges seeking sanctuary, for awhile around the fresh lakes.  I told you this would be a Sanctuary and this has manifested more and more and as this human geography, free of many of the problems which cause racism to fester even when confronted -- we have proof, in our diversity, that every race and religion can get along.  More and more with each effort.   I miss seeing Black Lives Matter protester's in the street, saw then as people fighting for Justice, regardless of skin tone.  The only real color blindness as person like me can attain is to see where rights are being denied, andelieving all people deserve to be treated the same... unless they became a threat in real life b.

We are making a mine field out of the future.  We pretend what we have will continue but this will not be so.  Only those who begin to now prepare for what is coming will survive as a viable way to bargain for products, in manners that capitol, for the rather short duration it lasts, will be investee in something which will not disappear into this air without a stock market or banks. NOT TODAY, OR until when?   I have no clue the internet and these cameras guarantee that I am never the smartest person in the room.   I am the slave who cannot read and does not understand much of what you say