I noticed the Pope was chosen based on a tack placed in a Globe.   You see God working through me on the highest levels.  I did not expect it last time, or this time.  You almost chose our dear Cardinal.  He would have certainly been historic.  Well, he is. The one who communicates with the wild 'angel.'  I have learned much from him about the scripture.  I am in a phase right now where I know I am too ignorant to think of violence;  my mind simply will not allow it.  This is strange.  Like when in meditation I go for blankness and ignore the thoughts, but these cause more an anxiety, a feeling like I ... am panicking..  and the thought I am having ends before violence.

For many years I have been playing a character at times.  I am brave, but to think Machismo shows this is ridiculous.  I can remember vaguely trying to break this.  I see my words echoed by the radicals, the madness, the ability to believe any lie.  

I have quit lying now.  I feel naked.  Not in your sense.  Yes, I will follow your rules, if they do not impede my spiritual quest to somehow or another save souls, and lives.  I am here in your endtimes, not when the screaming and pain is too late to heal, but now when many things can be done to change the plight of some....  and balance the zealotry of Christians, and all religions, temper their hatreds with the love of God.  How empty the money hoarders in soul...  

I am 63 now and my story is certainly not over.  I do not know what is going to happen of course, but we will see.

My bravery is shown when I prove I would rather die than be involved in a race war.  We are in a class war, and any division of our forces is a problem.  I hate calling this a war.  It is more an infection of billionaires, hoarding some vital mineral, and it will be dealt with easily, or with great difficulty.  I tried to take from the rich and give to the poor.  I have little memory of what I did, or said.  I remember some of the pain I caused you.  The horrors.  I tried to protect the country, and clear my name. 

When you show me something if I do not believe you, that means quite often I know nothing about this.  I did not want orange to have anything to do with the other.  Given a car, again.  I told you I did not want a car.  I do not know what you were celebrating with Orange.  I thought it meant you were doing good things, but I was still an idiot about the race situation.  I believe in a form of history that requires seeing events from all sides.  Stand Point Theory.   This also says people in ghettos know how to fix their problems better than millionaires in Washington, DC.  

I do not want a color anymore.  Too much like churches, they come with a lot of fine print I do not agree with.  I think.  Maybe I am wrong?  If the left is yellow, then that I am.  If my 'family' is white regardless of their beliefs, I believe they are better off having a peacemaker in charge, or as a hostage.  You responded when I asked.  I thank you very much for the meow mix.  Does this bring me enemies?  If I am going to be hated for being moral, then fine.  I acted prior to this, and maybe all during this, after being brainwashed, and having my reality go insane.  The tv talking to me.

I think often of the beginning.  The car crashes.  I was still a million miles away from thinking my comedy had been taken too seriously.  My sorrow over such events is a cloud I live in, and a penitence I  deserve. These are the thoughts making up the quicksand that tries to suck me down... under the ground, sand filling my gasping lungs...  until lack of air turns off the conscious mind.