... or some creature blessed with the ability to maintain my ethics, facing death many times by those who wished to use me to aide in their sins. I have been crucified on the absurdity of your expectations. I am whatever I am. I have been shielded from most of what has been done in this country, though my one example, the path I have taken, shows the existence of the extraordinary, in a manner I could never have imagined in my years as a writer, then ending up, on this tv world, an international superstar kept as a slave, a cash cow.an Ape in a Zoo. I still am not certain of what a Gorilla means, though I suspect ...
Even my speculations are worthless to write, more misnomers for your amusement. I have just maintained the same ethics I always had, usually feeling as if God was on my side, fearless, when I placed myself in danger to save others. You have tapes of the Mexican woman on Campbell and the screaming no neighbors would encounter, but I did without fear at all. That is a GOOD example of all the times in the cabs when I stepped up, a guy who worked out a lot and grew up in a neighborhood where the you had to learn to fight, to protect your younger brothers... from kids riled up by drunken bikers on the corner, to attack us. One was usually our friend. I was not prone toward violence, and it took a lot, as I grew older, to get me to fight, until at fifteen, and artist and a pacifistic kind of guy, I put up with a lot from a guy, then finally hit him. When he tried to fight me again I said No... just knew there was no reason to fight him, and that I would be the better man to walk. Plus. I had already won the fight, when my uppercut sent him flying higher than my head... though he jumped right up, others jumped in to stop it... his friends.
I have never since been afraid of fighting, just figured it was stupid unless I was being physically attacked and that never happened. Robbed in the cab, theft of surface... too many times to start thinking about, most forgotten. Others, the interesting ones, I have written of elsewhere. This is why I could do that job.
I go back now to the first days of this and I saw the news saying Christ had returned, 'The Jews sure are surprised,' said one newscaster. I loved everyone during this period. Actually saw the world in a mote of dust in the sunshine gleaming through the window onto my desk... my mind expanding in ways that I did not know what to chalk up to... before the brainwashing I was all peace and love and thought everyone was on the same side, had no clue I was part of an industrial take over of the government. I was in the first month doing the radio show being passed by peace what he said were our sponsors, and all I remember, perhaps, is tobacco companies, which I used as an excuse to smoke again. This was brought up to me once... I thought they were going to make us rich. Still no clue there was a much bigger game in town than I thought.
My odd life... in the last few years I heard from a Christian army that had been waiting ten years for my orders to attack the USA. I did not even know they existed, just heard a voice on tv, as I was going to bed, say I have been waiting to light these fires for ten years.' I flippantly said, 'Go ahead, light your fires.' You're keeping me ignorant of this matter cost a lot senseless lives, I suspect. I knew my writing from ten years before, and the racism of some of them, etc... I set another army on them, when the US Armed Forces did not seem to have the forces, or perhaps the will... whon the right would want this. I stopped these people, then had to after the army that did this, while they were exhausted and since I had to drop my cover... and God directed me. I did not think about what I was going to do, nor did I get what I asked for, I was given what God needed to do his will, and you who stood up in this last battle, those who are the last soldiers anyone thought would fight for their country, freedom, etc... the under-estimated.
I have said again and again 'Always appear as weak as possible,' to your enemies. Let them underestimate you as long as possible. I used to say to get close enough to kill, before I realized my metaphors of war were being used by others, with agendas I would never share. Free will is important, especially to those raised like myself, with the dreams of being an artist, and wanting to express myself in some way no one had ever before, as all writers do... I have listed all my reasons why this aspect of myself worries me.
The other side of this is, I decided after a few incidents where it seemed I could control the weather, and it was reported to me... not trusting anyone after the things attributed to me, I decided to keep the snow in Chicago under four inches for the winter. I knew this could not be faked, because I could look out my window and... no snowfall hit 4 inches. We got half the water we normally would, and the two snow storm where they forecast 10 inches, my heart jumped, a rare occurance... I see where I am on the map and then feel myself here and in the storm, which I broke into two streams, flowing around Chicago. It worked, but people died in Buffalo NY because of too much snow, and Chicago has a drought.
I proved to myself that I can manipulate the weather if I so wish, but like tinkering with anything you do not understand, there were 'possible' side effects, including deaths. I have said over and over that I try things once, and if they are real, then I leave them alone. God reveals things to me for reasons, and I think this is the one I needed to know that I can protect my city with the weather alone, should it come to that.... I have also told myself that if Russia attacks Poland I will do my best to give them the worst winter in their history. I do not know if I could do that, or would... I do believe that I need a team of scientists to work on this with me, suggest acts I could do... one day, in twenty years, a person who can shit hurricanes will be valuable. I should have off-spring to continue this tradition. I want them to be bi-racial. I want to make love to the mother, and she to want to make a baby with me... but what I want and need.... or what you might need?
